Mojo Black Dating

Posts Tagged ‘Confidence’

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is why some white guys are opening themselves to black women? Let’s concentrate on that.

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When making any kind of relationship-oriented proposition, one should consider how their partner views the status and overall importance of physical intimacy in a relationship, as this will determine both the manner of approach as well as the intervals at which they should suggest new and more risky ideas. For some couples, this will mean jumping straight into a full fledged experiment while, for others, small steps in the right direction are the way to go.

Most importantly, confidence in the strength of the relationship must be known between the two. Nothing will encourage your partner more than ensuring them that no matter how far you deviate from the normal activities, the relationship itself is more important than those activities. Physical intimacy is a very important part of any relationship for most people, so it will not be as difficult as some would think to get the ball rolling.

The first step to introducing new ideas is to present them in such a manner that suggests that you are not committed to that idea. Committing yourself to anything other than the relationship can compromise your partners faith in your commitment to the lasting of the relationship itself. It is important then to offer them up as ideas verses wants or needs, and to let your partner know that you have simply been thinking about it lately or tossing the idea around. It may be helpful to mention that you just read about it or a friend mentioned that they and their partner tried it.

Remember though, information has a way of spreading like disease so only mention a friend if it is actually true and don’t use a friend as an example unless you are sure your partner likes that friend of yours. They may very well be willing to try it simply based on the fact that your friend has done it and they don’t want to you feel left out. It is also crucial to present the idea as something fairly recent, as bringing up an idea you have been considering for awhile can have negative effects. First, it makes them question the trust, since you did not mention it sooner. Second, you will be on different pages in their mind, as the idea will be new to them but not to you.

The second step is to present the idea in different ways, asking your partners opinion and thoughts on the matter. Simply stating a good case is not always enough to convince them that it is a good idea. Even if they like what you are presenting, they may still feel left out of the planning process and therefore are likely to feel left out of the act itself. It is important to present the idea not just as your own but as something that your partner has equal share in planning. The more you let them do, the better. Remember, you will still have an opinion on the matter, but if your partner spends the better half of this conversation talking, you will have them convinced that it was their idea.

The third step is putting the idea into action. Any new idea may be weird for either or both of you so keeping a real open mind is important for yourself and encouraging your partner to try this and that is a good thing. Ensure them that they will feel good. Tell them that you just want to please them and let them know that they can be open with what they do and don’t like about it. And remember, confidence is contagious. If you are certain that this is a good thing, it will help them to be certain as well.

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Over the years, I have observed a common trend with women, not all women but a sizeable portion of the female population, they seem to be very insecure physically and sexually. In my opinion, these insecurities lead women to do some detrimental things in and to their relationships. Women, you need to empower yourselves. Embrace your body (it is the only one you own), get informed about what you like and don’t like sexually and learn that sex is meant to be enjoyed. It is very important to remember that communication is the key to any great relationship and a sexual relationship is no different. Everyone has insecurities but they don’t have to interfere in a healthy relationship. Talk to your partner about the insecurities you have, work on them and get ride of them, or at least get them at a manageable level.

Here are a few tips to help you become the woman you and your man would like you to be, a confident woman who doesn’t focus on your (or his) previous relationships and a woman who communicates not criticizes:

1. Know you are a goddess! Show that confidence. It is very intoxicating to a man if you show him how confident you are about yourself and your sexual techniques. Men love it when women aren’t insecure about themselves or their relationships. If you don’t quite believe you are a goddess yet, try to wear things that make you feel sexy and confident, go get a makeover at the salon, get your nails done and keep telling yourself you are a sexy goddess until it becomes a reality for you. Just remember to keep doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Get a hobby or an activity that is all your own. That will help build confidence as well. It also shows your man that you have your own interests outside the relationship.
2. Ladies stop asking your men about previous girlfriends and the sexual acts they performed on your man. You don’t need to know that and I’m sure he doesn’t really want to talk to you about it. It only leads to feelings of jealousy and that has no place in a healthy relationship. The same goes for you, stop telling him about your ex-boyfriends and what things they may have done for you sexually or how many times a day you did it, etc etc. Men don’t want to feel like they are being compared just like you don’t want to drive yourself crazy thinking about everything his ex did with him and trying to live up to some standard you have created in your mind. You were not there you couldn’t possibly know what they were like together and besides there are reasons these people are ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends let it go and don’t bring the toxic feelings about your ex’s into your current relationship. Your man is with you, not them, start fresh and leave those ex’s in the past were they belong.
3. Never criticize your man’s efforts in the bedroom. Criticizing is a way of telling him he is not doing things the way you want them done. This can be very hurtful and one of the biggest turn-offs to the person who is being criticized and also often leads to resentment. It maybe true that you are not getting the results you want in the bedroom but criticizing him about it isn’t the way to fix it. Instead be direct and communicate with your man. It is not his fault he doesn’t know what you like if you haven’t told him already in no uncertain terms. Tell him what you want and how you want it. He is then not left guessing about where he stands in his abilities and he doesn’t feel stupid because you belittled him about his technique.

Remember don’t be so hard on yourself, enjoy your body, love your life, don’t try to be someone you are not and above all else try to be happy about anything and everything as much as possible.