Mojo Black Dating

Posts Tagged ‘Feelings’

Your boyfriend tends to remark on what the men in the bar are wearing as often as he does the girls. When he’s had a little to drink he flirts a little with the men at the table. Although he says that he is hetero, you are beginning to wonder if maybe he would bat for both teams, if given the chance.

Bisexuality is fast becoming less though of as a third orientation. Some bisexuals contend that we are all bisexual to a degree. Others submit that it is a natural part of curiosity and most people have thoughts or feelings about the same sex as well as the opposite sex, but do not consider themselves as homosexual. Still others shout from the roof tops that it is the best of both worlds. So if he is attracted to both men and women, does that automatically make him a bisexual?

Not necessarily. The best definition I’ve heard of sexual orientation is based not on who you have slept with, but who you’d like to sleep with. Take it for what it’s worth. It’s also a myth that all bisexuals are just going through a phase in determining which sexuality they prefer to identify with. This is dangerous thinking because it implies that homosexuality is a choice, which the moral majority would have you believe. We know that it is not.

You need also remember that sexuality is like a spiral, not a line. It can change and shift over time. Just because a person is attracted to both sexes doe not mean that they can not have a magnanimous relationship with one person. They have chosen you as a person, not as a sexual being. Bisexuals are often not attracted equally to both sexes, either, although nothing is set in stone-some are.

So what are you going to do about it? Remember that he may not see it himself, or he may be denying it, or confused, or afraid you won’t understand. You need to figure out how you feel about the possibility before you confront him or jump to conclusions that could hurt your relationship. If you have a problem with it, maybe you should look at why. Are you insecure or afraid he will “turn gay” and leave you if it comes out in the open? Honesty in a relationship is the most important aspect of intimacy, and not sex.

If you are with a great guy and have great sex and you love each other, who cares who he is attracted to? He may never act on it, or you may discuss the possibility of him acting on his feelings if it’s out in the open. If it’s true he will probably be relieved.

But what if you’re wrong? If you think he may be bisexual but aren’t sure, you had better make reasonably sure before you ask him about it. If the two of you have been together for awhile, this will probably be easier, but if the relationship is new you might want to check with old girlfriends or mutual friends before you shoot off your mouth. If you are just being easily jealous and insecure because of your own issues, get a grip.

Many people have owned, seen, or thought of owning sex toys, but many couples do not explore sex toys together. Perhaps it is because many people view sex toys as dirty or something that does not need to be done within a marriage or serious relationship. Or perhaps it is simply because we have a tendency to be embarrassed about such matters. If more couples would come together and realize that sex toys and a playful attitude towards sex and their time together in the bedroom then a great deal of people would be happier with their sex lives. Sex toys can allow couples to experiment with one another and their own sexuality in new and exciting ways.

Sex toys don’t have to be looked at in a negative light like many people look at them. They aren’t dirty or even anything to be embarrassed about. Of course, the vast majority of people wouldn’t give rave reviews over a new sex toy of some sort over dinner with their family, but these toys aren’t anything that shouldn’t be enjoyed. In fact, they are produced to be enjoyed by consenting adults that have nothing to be embarrassed about! And, when couples can enjoy such things they can learn how to interact sexually in new and exciting ways.

It’s a great idea for couples to talk about sex and sex toys as soon as they begin a sexual relationship. The longer you wait to talk about such matters, the more awkward it will become. Even if you’ve never owned any sex toys in the past, you should be able to express your desire to go shopping for some toys that will accentuate your already steamy sex life. Going shopping for the first time can be a little awkward, but that is why the couple should decide to share all of their feelings while shopping! They should be able to express what they like, what they find interesting, and what they think is absolutely disgusting. Just the sex toy shopping experience can bring a couple closer together because they’ll learn new things about one another.

There are a lot places to buy sex toys, but buying them online is a great idea if one or both people are feeling a bit nervous about it. Buying online will allow you to see full color, vivid pictures of all of the sex toys you could ever imagine without actually stepping foot in an adult store! When you order sex toys online everyone can get what they want and it will arrive at your front door within a matter of days so that the play can begin! Some toys you’ll find that you really enjoy as a couple while others you can simply play or not play with.

Couples may find that they only pull out their sex toys once a month, but it’s the knowledge that there are always new and fun ways to please one another that makes sex toys so much fun. Whether you plan to play with them all of the time or every once and again, sex toys can be a very good thing for couples that have just begun and those that have been together for quite some time.

Over the years, I have observed a common trend with women, not all women but a sizeable portion of the female population, they seem to be very insecure physically and sexually. In my opinion, these insecurities lead women to do some detrimental things in and to their relationships. Women, you need to empower yourselves. Embrace your body (it is the only one you own), get informed about what you like and don’t like sexually and learn that sex is meant to be enjoyed. It is very important to remember that communication is the key to any great relationship and a sexual relationship is no different. Everyone has insecurities but they don’t have to interfere in a healthy relationship. Talk to your partner about the insecurities you have, work on them and get ride of them, or at least get them at a manageable level.

Here are a few tips to help you become the woman you and your man would like you to be, a confident woman who doesn’t focus on your (or his) previous relationships and a woman who communicates not criticizes:

1. Know you are a goddess! Show that confidence. It is very intoxicating to a man if you show him how confident you are about yourself and your sexual techniques. Men love it when women aren’t insecure about themselves or their relationships. If you don’t quite believe you are a goddess yet, try to wear things that make you feel sexy and confident, go get a makeover at the salon, get your nails done and keep telling yourself you are a sexy goddess until it becomes a reality for you. Just remember to keep doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Get a hobby or an activity that is all your own. That will help build confidence as well. It also shows your man that you have your own interests outside the relationship.
2. Ladies stop asking your men about previous girlfriends and the sexual acts they performed on your man. You don’t need to know that and I’m sure he doesn’t really want to talk to you about it. It only leads to feelings of jealousy and that has no place in a healthy relationship. The same goes for you, stop telling him about your ex-boyfriends and what things they may have done for you sexually or how many times a day you did it, etc etc. Men don’t want to feel like they are being compared just like you don’t want to drive yourself crazy thinking about everything his ex did with him and trying to live up to some standard you have created in your mind. You were not there you couldn’t possibly know what they were like together and besides there are reasons these people are ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends let it go and don’t bring the toxic feelings about your ex’s into your current relationship. Your man is with you, not them, start fresh and leave those ex’s in the past were they belong.
3. Never criticize your man’s efforts in the bedroom. Criticizing is a way of telling him he is not doing things the way you want them done. This can be very hurtful and one of the biggest turn-offs to the person who is being criticized and also often leads to resentment. It maybe true that you are not getting the results you want in the bedroom but criticizing him about it isn’t the way to fix it. Instead be direct and communicate with your man. It is not his fault he doesn’t know what you like if you haven’t told him already in no uncertain terms. Tell him what you want and how you want it. He is then not left guessing about where he stands in his abilities and he doesn’t feel stupid because you belittled him about his technique.

Remember don’t be so hard on yourself, enjoy your body, love your life, don’t try to be someone you are not and above all else try to be happy about anything and everything as much as possible.