Posts Tagged ‘Relationship’
Convincing Your Partner to Expand Their Horizons
When making any kind of relationship-oriented proposition, one should consider how their partner views the status and overall importance of physical intimacy in a relationship, as this will determine both the manner of approach as well as the intervals at which they should suggest new and more risky ideas. For some couples, this will mean jumping straight into a full fledged experiment while, for others, small steps in the right direction are the way to go.
Most importantly, confidence in the strength of the relationship must be known between the two. Nothing will encourage your partner more than ensuring them that no matter how far you deviate from the normal activities, the relationship itself is more important than those activities. Physical intimacy is a very important part of any relationship for most people, so it will not be as difficult as some would think to get the ball rolling.
The first step to introducing new ideas is to present them in such a manner that suggests that you are not committed to that idea. Committing yourself to anything other than the relationship can compromise your partners faith in your commitment to the lasting of the relationship itself. It is important then to offer them up as ideas verses wants or needs, and to let your partner know that you have simply been thinking about it lately or tossing the idea around. It may be helpful to mention that you just read about it or a friend mentioned that they and their partner tried it.
Remember though, information has a way of spreading like disease so only mention a friend if it is actually true and don’t use a friend as an example unless you are sure your partner likes that friend of yours. They may very well be willing to try it simply based on the fact that your friend has done it and they don’t want to you feel left out. It is also crucial to present the idea as something fairly recent, as bringing up an idea you have been considering for awhile can have negative effects. First, it makes them question the trust, since you did not mention it sooner. Second, you will be on different pages in their mind, as the idea will be new to them but not to you.
The second step is to present the idea in different ways, asking your partners opinion and thoughts on the matter. Simply stating a good case is not always enough to convince them that it is a good idea. Even if they like what you are presenting, they may still feel left out of the planning process and therefore are likely to feel left out of the act itself. It is important to present the idea not just as your own but as something that your partner has equal share in planning. The more you let them do, the better. Remember, you will still have an opinion on the matter, but if your partner spends the better half of this conversation talking, you will have them convinced that it was their idea.
The third step is putting the idea into action. Any new idea may be weird for either or both of you so keeping a real open mind is important for yourself and encouraging your partner to try this and that is a good thing. Ensure them that they will feel good. Tell them that you just want to please them and let them know that they can be open with what they do and don’t like about it. And remember, confidence is contagious. If you are certain that this is a good thing, it will help them to be certain as well.
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Tips On Writing Your Advert
Show don’t tell. For example, it is much more effective to use humor in your ad rather than just saying "I have a sense of humor". Show that you are an educated and intelligent person through interesting word choice, clear ad structure, and colorful and creative descriptions.
Creativity counts. A personal ad can take many forms. A poem, perhaps. One amazing ad consisted entirely of titles — one right after another — of popular motion pictures, carefully chosen and arranged to describe the ad placer.
Show them what YOU would want to know. Make a list of the most important things that you would like to know about a person before responding to an ad. Chances are, others would like to know the same about you. If you work, in what field? Have you ever been married before? Do you have children? Are you looking to make some new friends, or do you want find one special person to settle down with for a lifetime? Keep in mind that common goals are often more important in a relationship than individual interests.
Age isn’t everything, but… It is where a lot of people start. Be sure to include your age in the ad; if you do not want to give your exact age, narrow the range: "early twenties" or "mid forties" for example. If you are fifty but feel thirty, say so? If you are looking for someone outside your age range, give a range for the person you seek as well. Keep in mind that some people will be suspicious of a range that seems too wide — such as "twenty to sixty", and this may limit responses. Likewise, a range too narrow (one to two years) also seems odd. Even those who fall in the narrow range might be hesitant to respond. Stating your age, and avoiding ranges altogether, is generally the best approach.
Describe yourself first. Be careful to avoid creating an ad that is simply a mile-long list of characteristics you seek in another, without saying much about yourself. It is better to let the person reading the ad decide if they might be a match. This does not mean that you should say nothing about what you seek, just don’t overdo it. You do not want to be too picky.
Details, details. How many times have you read a personal ad that states: "I enjoy movies, music, and going out."? This sentence describes millions of people! The idea is to make yourself stand out from the rest! Instead, name a recent movie that you enjoyed. List some of your favorite music styles, song titles, or artists. If you enjoy going out to Italian restaurants, or line-dancing at a country bar on Saturday nights, say so! Ironically, it is the very details that are often overlooked as being insignificant or boring which in fact add the color and depth necessary for a personal ad to be truly effective.
Honesty is the best policy. Above all, be honest when describing yourself. No matter who you are, or what kind of person you are seeking, you have a better chance of finding that person — and with less disappointment along the way — if you are honest from the beginning.
Dating Tips For Disabled Men
Online dating is the easiest way to get to know people a little before you actually take them out on a date. If you are disabled and single, you can try out numerous specialist dating sites to see who you would really like to know more. As a guy, you might feel secure and can chat about anything, but you need to be a little more sensitive when it comes to understanding women.
Create a good first impression as that might decide the future course of the relationship. Only when you see that the woman is comfortable with you, ask her out on a real date to meet. This will be very important so remember the following:
A good first impression is a must. You may have chatted with her for months but she is certainly going to be nervous meeting you. Choose a convenient place and dress appropriately. Remember to greet her well and not crack silly jokes on seeing her, no matter how nervous you may be feeling. It is important that you establish a comfort level at the very beginning, otherwise things may get quite awkward.
If you bring her a thoughtful gift, it will certainly be appreciated. If you can’t, no harm done, but a gift will earn you brownie points. Disabled dating is quite unnerving for first – timers so be especially careful. You must make her feel special. Do not buy any extravagant gifts like jewelry – a pretty bunch of flowers or chocolates will do fine.
If the date involves spending money be sure to sort out the matter beforehand. Usually, when a man asks a woman on a date, it is expected that he will pay for it. If you would like her to pay for her half, be sure to discuss it before actually meeting. It can be very embarrassing if she does not bring money when you assumed she would and hence brought a small amount yourself.
Be a good talker and also listen carefully when it’s her turn to talk. Conversation is very important so discuss things with her. It is advisable to talk about topics which you have already spoken on while chatting on the disabled dating website. Keep it light and funny. And, let her talk also. Nobody should monopolize the conversation. Let her feel that you are the same person who she has been chatting with for so long.
If you like the way she looks, that’s good but don’t stare. A woman can easily understand and it makes her conscious while having doubts about your intentions. You would not like that, would you? Just compliment her once or twice and leave it at that. Dating matters need to be handled with sensitivity. If she is prettier than you thought, good, but if she is not what you expected, don’t let your disappointment be apparent. Even she might or might not have liked you and she’s sitting, so should you!
Disabled dating, like any other, is a little nerve-wrecking for the first time but things will ease out as you go along. So, go ahead and enjoy yourself.
Owning Your Sexuality
It’s easy in today’s society to try to force yourself into one category or another where your sexuality is concerned. By society’s standards if you are a woman that is attracted to and has relations with other women you are a lesbian, if you are a man that is attracted to and has relations with other men you are gay, and if you are either male or female and you are attracted to both sexes then you are bi-sexual. These standards are fairly rigid, especially because for most of us sexuality is a journey, an exploration not only of the people around us, but also of ourselves. If we force ourselves to be shoe horned into one of these categories or another we may not be experiencing something that we could really enjoy or that may be a large part of who we are.
Don’t Force It!
If you are predominately attracted to one sex or the other don’t force the issue. Yes, by all standards you may then either be gay or straight but there is no need to assume that things couldn’t change. Even if you are a man that has always been attracted to women there is nothing to say that there isn’t a man out there that is so perfectly suited for you that you wouldn’t at least consider a relationship with him. Does this mean that you are no longer straight? No! It just means that you cannot force the issue. You are not who you are attracted to, and you cannot force yourself to fit into one orientation or another. You are who you are and you are attracted to people because of who they are.
Go Ahead, Experiment!
If you are curious about whether or not your mere attraction to other men or women may be physical why not experiment? As long as you are safe and you take precautions to only experiment with people who are equally as safe, as discretionary, and as quiet about their sexual encounters as you are you will find that you can experiment and find out what else may be out there. If you enjoy yourself, then you will have found a whole new side of yourself. If you find that it is not for you, then you know and you will have grown as a person.
Sex should be Fun!
Sex is a form of expression, and only you know and can choose who you want to have sex with. You don’t have to have sex with only one type of person or one sex to be okay with yourself. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else, allow yourself to have fun with your body and to explore through sex and sexuality. Too many people hold back and identify themselves through who they have sex with, and that really is not any way to live!










